


A Bunker in Siberia

by Evedawalrus



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, captain america: civil war - Fandom, civil war - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Marvel stomps on my heart every year, One Shot, Oneshot, Suicidal Thoughts, Tony Stark Angst, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, and i just write sad oneshots about Tony Stark, but really someone hug this poor child, i feel like this is becoming a thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-07
Updated: 2016-06-07
Packaged: 2018-07-13 00:18:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7130543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evedawalrus/pseuds/Evedawalrus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The biting cold carried into the concrete bunker had long since numbed his face, but Tony Stark did not rise. He’d later explain it away by saying the weight of the suit was too heavy, his wounds too fresh. </p>
<p>He hated being a good liar.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Bunker in Siberia

“So was I.” 

 

 

 

 

But was he?

 

The biting cold carried into the concrete bunker had long since numbed his face, but Tony Stark did not rise. He’d later explain it away by saying the weight of the suit was too heavy, his wounds too fresh. 

He hated being a good liar. The venom of those fabricated feelings had stung, at first, but he had lots of practice. Even Natasha couldn’t break through those carefree smirks that made him want to throw up every time he flashed one. Almost no one had ever seen him broken down, without the armor that wasn’t red and gold and drew attention to him like a beacon. 

Iron Man? Yes. Tony Stark… not recommended.

Except Pepper, maybe. And him. 

 

Tony stared at the grey ceiling, his eyes wide and blank like a snowstorm. Blood pooled in his suit, growing cool as the metal chilled. JARVIS- No, FRIDAY would have told him about that, if the suit was still online. One of the most technologically advanced devices in the world, and it still couldn’t work without a power source. Though, didn’t everything need one? He sure had.

Well, at least until he got the reactor removed. He felt lighter, now. Not afraid of hands reaching too, too far into his chest. Pepper had been strong with him. 

Jesus, he had never deserved her. 

The first time he slept in his own bed after the operation, he had been shocked by the dark that came after JARVIS turned off the lights. It had curled around him, pressuring his chest and making him realize that there was no soft blue glow. He had grown up, thrown away his old nightlight and then realized that the dark was just as scary as before. For a second, he almost asked JARVIS to turn a light back on, but then a slender arm curled its way around his side. A familiar, warm presence made itself known, and the pressure on his chest lessened as her hand settled softly over the scar tissue. 

Tony had no nightmares that night.

 

Now, every part of him felt cold. The arc reactor of the suit lay grey and cracked. Tony couldn’t see it, but the scar tissue directly below it was bruised and charred. A thought wandered through his mind, its jagged edges drawing blood in places he never wished to see.

‘What if I never removed the reactor?’ 

Tony didn’t want to think about it. He did anyway. The same 3-second memory that had been replaying for 6 hours flashed through his mind again. 

Steve above him, holding that shield high. His faceplate was gone, broken off in shards by the unending blows. His neck was naked, pale. Exposed. Time screeched to a stuttering halt as his arms raised instinctively in a feeble attempt to stop everything he had always failed to be.

Tony Stark drew in a shuddering breath, and wished the arc reactor his hero had driven his shield into was his own.

It wasn’t worth it. 

 

Tony ever had five friends. Two were dead. Two were hurt. And one left.

Because of him.

 

 

 

Steve had never looked at him and seen Tony. Just a disappointment to Howard.

And when Tony tried to do the first thing in his life Howard would have wanted, Steve hated him for it.

Maybe he should have learned he’d never be worth anything a long time ago.

 

“I’m sorry, Yinsen.”

 

In a bunker in the wastes of Siberia, Anthony Edward Stark was silent as tears mixed with blood on the concrete.

**Author's Note:**

> I have too many feelings about Tony Stark.


End file.
